panda6.net

So we got this new guy at work. As far as I can tell, he’s a decently knowledgeable former IT guy, who is perhaps a little nerdy but definitely a potential asset to the company. He seems like a nice guy, but he’s got this hint of paranoia that pops up in casual work chatter. Outside of work chatter, however, he turns it up all the way. At lunch yesterday, I read an article on knitting Christmas sweaters in a local newspaper to avoid a conversation about how the Democrats fund the marijuana trade in California and *that* is why the internal affairs of the state are completely controlled by the secret nuclear proliferation committees that will, someday, force us to move to the eastern seaboard. Which is EXACTLY WHERE THEY WANT US. He’s obviously on to something.

I never really figured out what his angle was. He did admit to having gone through the following political devolution: Republican, to Libertarian, to anarchist. I hope his manifesto is at least outlined or we won’t win the “fuck America” medal back from Muslim extremists until 2050.

During a meeting today, I took the following notes (and only the following notes):

Question 1: What the hell is Matt rambling about, and why?
Follow up A: Is this a conspiracy?
Follow up B: Are the Democrats involved?
Bonus: Can you find a link to marijuana?

Question 2: Am I going to fall asleep during this meeting?
A: Other than the Democrats, who is involved in this conspiracy?
B: Aside from Libertarianism being retarded, name one reason to be an anarchist.
Bonus: Justify your one reason.
Extra Credit: Use facts and do not use the word conspiracy.

Question 3: Is marketspeak potentially lethal?
A: Why is the S.W.A.T. team here?