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It is a scientific fact that animal species adapt to better suit their environments over a period of time. Ask any biologist, zoologist or talkative infant with any credibility and the answer will be the same. Yet skeptics remain hesitant or unwilling to accept evolution into their version of reality.

In my first section, I will directly address those who do not see the validity of the theory of evolution through a series of undeniable observations.

Section 1 - Cats

Cats are one of the most abundant animals currently living on planet Earth. At one point in time, of course, this honor belonged to the dinosaurs. Before even the great dinosaurs reigned the Earth, the planet was home to very small, baby dinosaurs. Over many trillions of years, life on Earth was shaped and molded by changing environments, global catastrophes, and hellish invasions from what I assume to be Jupiter. With a scale that large, it seems impossible to witness evolution in any measurable sense within our meaninglessly short lifetimes. But all is not what it seems!

On this planet alone, there are over 4 thousand species of cats. Interestingly, all domestic house cats fall into a single species felis catus (no shit!). The remaining species are tigers. There are more cats than squirrels and horses combined. In fact, if you were to look out a window or door right now, the chances of seeing a cat somewhere is well over 100 percent.

As most people have experienced, cats go through a fairly typical mamallian life cycle. Kittens (which are baby cats) live for several months inside the mother’s womb, where they grow from a single cell into something that looks like a hot dog shaped like a rat. These are deposited by the mother into a pile on the floor, often in a corner or a closet. The mother will eat the weakest one, and then the strongest one. This way, all of the kittens are equal.

As the kittens continue to grow, hair will form, making them look like an entirely new animal. This is not evolution! It is simply a protective measure to keep them from looking like your grandmother’s cold, spotted hands. The mother cat can only take so much visual abuse in the name of rearing children.

This process continues for years in some cases. The kittens become larger kittens, and eventually normal sized cats. Again, no evolution has taken place at this point. However, once the cat reaches a certain size and age based on its color and what it eats, it will undergo a common yet impressive transformation.

When a cat reaches his specific weight and age, he will “run away” or be hit by a car. Similar to a caterpillar building a chrysalis, the cat will emerge as an entirely new animal. In the case of a caterpillar, it will become a colorful but gross butterfly, and in the case of the cat, it will become a golden retriever.

While it’s true that many varieties of dog (canis domesticus) exist throughout the world, most of them can only be bred using already-existing dogs. For example, a dalmatian is bred by breeding any black dog with any white dog. All cats will become golden retrievers once they reach adulthood. This is why there are so many golden retrievers if you really look around and keep track.

There is one exception to this rule. Remember when I said that the mother cat eats the weakest kitten? No? Well I did, so go back and read it again. Recent technological advancements have given us the ability to remove the weakest kitten from the mother’s venomous grip before it is eaten alive and crying. Carefully raising these fragile animals to adulthood causes them to evolve in to toy breeds of dogs. Depending on its diet, the weak little kittens can evolve in to chihuahuas, toy poodles, Paris Hilton accessories or even dogs that creepy people dress up at Halloween.

A cat that has evolved into a dog (adult cat) can only breed with other dogs. When this occurs, the mother dog will give birth to fully evolved dogs. No dog can ever give birth to a cat. This is also the reason that it is rare for a person to give birth to a chimpanzee.

Cats bred with cats will always produce cats that eventually evolve into dogs.

The clear relationship between cats and dogs, aside from being scientifically proven, is highly intuitive. In a recent poll of school children in the United States (age 4 to 6), over 80% agreed that cats should theoretically turn in to dogs at some point. Interestingly, only 70% could name all the nations in the European Union. It is the simplicity of the process that is its number 1 selling point, and the reason it is absolute fact.

Are there other common, easily detectable forms of evolution in our day to day life? Of course there are! Unfortunately, all of them take place deep in the ocean or in places like Africa, where nobody is really willing to go.

So next time to see a gang of cats walking down the street, take a good look, because one of them could easily be your future golden retriever.