panda6.net

Hello, my name is Wallace and my last name is Rogers. I am a celebrity for I have been employed in a motion picture. You and your family may recall my name and my last name from such movies as Terminator 2 and that is all.

I am here to tell you and your family about a new product that I am endorsing as we speak. I shall now tell you about Delicious Edible Pastry Product by Food Processing and Manufacturing Company. This is a company that is based in Elkhorn, a wonderful town in North Dakota and also the home of this amazing company. They produce delicious foods and I enjoy them immensely.

To begin I will describe the bottom of the food product. It is comprised of layers of delicious pastry and is quite edible and delicious on your tongue or in your mouth. I may describe the pastry consistency as flakey and very appealing in overall texture. Certainly you will think about how such a well constructed bottom can only lead to a breathtaking section on top of it, and you and your family would be thinking of the middle portion of this delicious food item.

Upon the lowest layer rests several more layers of top quality pastry product. It is similar to the bottom section but with a very amazing difference. That distiguishing characteristic might be either a cinnamon or a fruit-flavored confection. If you enjoy cinnamon or fruit-flavored confections I suspect your mouth is awaiting a taste of this fabulous treat. But what can possibly lie ahead. I shall tell you next.

Now it is time for the best part of the tour of this stupendous pastry product. Placed directly on top of the previously mentioned middle layer is not one but two hand crafted and exclusive top layers. Both are identical, which ensures you are receiving nearly twice as much quality per unit of weight than any other delicious pastry product that you and your family may currently have in a pantry or display case in your living closet. And did I mention that this product is edible and very delicious?

But you and your family are now asking me a question!

“What if I eat too many of these products?” is the question you and your family have asked. I shall respond with a letter of which would include an answer. It is not possible to eat too many of these products, for it is specifically designed to be edible while also being as delicious and otherwise amazing as time allows. We have a very careful process where magnifying glasses are employed to look very closely into the middle section where any poison would most likely be found. It is not there.

When you next feel it desirable to ingest a product you wish to be edible and delicious, you may now always consider purchasing Delicious Edible Pastry Product at a store and then, upon arriving home with yourself and your family, you shall unwrap them from their packaging and eat them. From the oven.

Thank you for the time you have spent watching myself masterfully endorse this product which I enjoy nearly every time I wish to consume said item.

On a family trip to Aunt Cordelia’s ranch, the kids play with flowers, bugs, and themselves - and a smile nearly forms on young Carmichael’s face, for the first time in years. Suddenly, he collapses to the beaten earth, blood raging from his nose and mouth, unable to breathe. Why can’t young Carmichael breathe? Why can’t he smile?

It’s Asthma.

Asthma is the name smart people, like doctors, give to the disease that makes it hard to breathe. When normal people breathe, air flows in through the mouth, nose and ears and is ushered into the lungs by small bacteria like insects, where it can enter the bloodstream. However, those like Carmichael cannot breathe normally, for they are part a violent war twenty four hours a day. It is a war with themselves.

Asthma, like Anorexia Nervosa, alters the victim’s self image. As an anorexic teenage girl may look in the mirror and see an unsightly behemoth, dripping with fat, oil and other bodily fluids, an Asthma victim often sees a person who breathes too much. Sadly, they are breathing the right amount, but the vicious Asthma parasites make them feel otherwise. This leads to depression, withdrawal from everyday life, and in almost all cases, a slow and especially painful death.

Take a look at some startling statistics from last year, comparing Asthma to another popular disease: Alcohol.

• Alcohol caused the deaths of thousands of people. Asthma killed forty billion.
• Alcohol downed over 30 airplanes, killing hundreds of people. Asthma kills kittens.
• Alcohol is responsible for hurricane Katrina. Asthma is responsible for the levees.

As you can see, the seriousness of this affliction is far greater than once believed. Unfortunately, there is no known cure for Asthma. Victims of this horrible, horrible disease are condemned to a life of waiting - for death.

But not anymore.

Pfizer Pharmaceuticals would like to introduce Asthma Bear, the first breath of relief for the billions of people and Germans suffering from the debilitating illness.
Asthma Bear is a once-a-day solution to under-breathing. Unlike other medications, such as Asprin or rave-grade ecstasy, Asthma Bear is not a pill. It is also not a gel-cap or soft-gel. It is a living, breathing, and hungry Kodiak Grizzly Bear. Used once a day, symptoms of Asthma will be reduced by over 98.4%.

Asthma Bear will poach your Asthma so hard. So hard.

Take a deep breath, breathe freely, with Asthma Bear.