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I’m still getting settled, but in the mean time, here are some pictures.

This weekend, Dan, Ben, Chris and myself went to visit Pete for his 27th birthday. He didn’t know we were coming.

Here’s a summary in pictures.

The cake was, in reality, much less blurry. The atmosphere was thick with anticipation of Pete’s arrival, which caused distortion in the camera’s optics.

Some random chick, and Angela.

Ben and Chris talking to some guy I don’t know. People-making-stupid-faces-accidentally-party in the foreground.

Dan, Ben, random chick, Angela, Claire. I’m not sure what is happening here.

Is that Pete walking in right now? Oh shit everyone here he com…no it isn’t.

3 minutes later…

That looks exactly like Pete. He is caught in a moment of surprise, sending him into “fight or flight” mode. Twenty people were killed before we calmed him down with a song and cake.

Pete and I “chilling”. I realize I wore a shirt with stupid words on it, thanks.

Iron Maiden! Very hardcore. Good job guys.

I do not know where Pete is at this point.

Justin, Pete and utter breakdown of my camera’s red eye reduction filter.

Note: the pizza box in the picture was one of about five hundred that we went through last night. It was really good, and people kept going next door and getting more.

Fuck you, Ben.

Some random people?!?

I think I left my camera unattended at about this point.

No! Don’t eat his eyeballs don’t do it shit Pete watch out.

Just kidding Pete’s okay.

With no context I seriously can’t say much about this.

Another accidentally-making-stupid-faces party, this time on the dance floor.

I do not know this fellow.

This probably happened 1 second after the last picture.

Fuck you guys.

Another one! These guys are amazing comedians.

This is a view from Pete’s balcony. At 3:30am. I’m actually a little surprised I even managed to take a picture at this point. The fact that I fucked it up pretty bad doesn’t really take that away.

What a nice view. I had no idea it was this nice.

I took this while Dan and I went to get coffee. It is a photograph of a street. Am I doing this right?

IF HE LOVES ME SO MUCH WHY DOESN’T HE MARRY ME

I have nothing else to show.

It was especially dark last night. I remember noticing the streetlight outside my window sputter out just as I closed my eyes.

I live in a small apartment in a mostly commercial area of town. This carries the obvious benefit of never having to deal with neighbors. Up one flight of rickety steps, past an obstacle course of a living room (I lovingly refer to it as the foyer), through a very loud and useless sliding door, and on the other side of the kitchen, you’ll find my room. The kitchen floor is made of cheap linoleum, long since hardened and cracked like dried snake skin. A cockroach might sound like a tapdancer as it skitters across it.

Nobody else was there last night. I had closed the sliding door leading into the kitchen out of habit just before bed. I was surprised to hear it open, deliberately but not quietly, at 3:21am. Had it been my roommate, I would have expected to see the rectangular halo of light leaking in from the kitchen. I could only see my alarm clock’s dim yellow glow. Someone was in my apartment.

Of course my immediate thought, upon reaching the conclusion that I might not want to meet this person, was to get out of my room quickly and quietly. My options were terrible. One door led into, presumably, the same room this stranger was already in. The other door led to the bathroom, in turn my roommate’s bedroom, and then into the living room. Given night vision goggles and cat-like agility, I still wouldn’t feel confident seeing as the kitchen’s sliding door and my roommate’s sliding door were less than 6 feet apart. And every door in the place is squeaky, broken, or prone to sticking.

I could also go out the window. The window, naturally, is in the same state as the doors. It emits the sound that rubbing a fork on a plate does. From there, it’s a 10 foot drop to a rough stone wall and another 3 to the ground. From arm’s length, I could handle the drop. My bare feet would not take the impact well, and I could only hope that the mass of wood scraps and construction materials on the ground would be avoidable as I fell. This would have to happen with no further delay, I thought.

Only a moment had passed since I awoke. What sounded like a stampede began through the kitchen and toward my room. I couldn’t see anything. I got the blinds up halfway before my door opened and I was being tackled by at least 4 or 5 people. Clearly this was overkill, but I put up a bit of a struggle before being summarily defeated in every possible way. I was tied tightly at every joint, gagged, with something over my head, and was being carried out of my apartment. I noted that in all the chaos, somehow they made graceful work of the cluttered living room and made absolutely no noise as they took me down the stairs. I was scared out of my mind and struggling to keep my orientation as best as possible.

Other than the rustling of the cloth over my head, it was dead silent. Someone opened a case and injected me with something. I heard that happen quite clearly, and then I heard them talking about something. They sounded like cats. That’s how I remember it.

I awoke with a shiver in a small room. The drug I was injected with seemed to affect my memory, as I was completely unaware of the previous few minutes. I should be in bed, I thought.

The room was soft in multiple ways. The walls, floor and ceiling met in smooth, rounded junctions. Every surface was covered in a brown fuzz, like a shag carpet. The floor was slightly rubbery. Had I not been slowly coming to the realization that I had been kidnapped in my sleep and dumped into a weird room, I suppose I would have been comfortable curling back up and dozing off until my alarm went off.

Sitting across from me were two older women and a man I guessed to be in his mid 30s. They all had the same look on their face, which mentally I pictured myself carrying as well - it was an interesting combination of horror, confusion, and “this carpet is soft, I hope it’s not made of hair”.

I asked them where we were. The man responded in a thick French accent that they didn’t know either. (The accent explained why they were fully clothed and I was in my sleeping clothes) We didn’t talk anymore.

After a few minutes of silence, a doorway began to open directly next to me. I scrambled away from it without standing up. This is the point where I went from mostly scared and confused to just scared, one hundred percent.

In walked three creatures, about the size of tall humans. Their faces were very wide, dark and wet looking, while their bodies were thin and pale. Their eyes seemed to look in multiple directions at once and they did not blink. As far as distinguishing features or notable structures, there were none. In overall appearance they were human-like, except slightly wrong in every possible way.

They held between them a large piece of meat I eventually realized to be the upper half of a badly mutilated woman. With little fanfare or communicative attempt, they jointly tossed her into the center of the room and walked back out the way they came.
I assumed we were next. It crossed my mind that it may have been an offering or peace, or a very unappreciated meal even. The two women were crying and the man was just staring at the remains that lay in front of him.

They came back shortly thereafter, and immediately took me by the arm and dragged me down a hallway. I attempted to walk but they picked me up off the ground when I tried. Their hands dug into my arms enough to bruise me fairly severely. Soon I was placed in a room by myself and drugged with another injection.

This room looks like the last one in every way, except for the furnishings. There is a typical wooden desk and wooden chair. On the desk is an envelope, which I have already addressed to my father, a pen and a few pieces of paper. There is also a mirror. I look terrible. I’m not sure what this injection did this time, because I’m not feeling sleepy or anything, but it’s definitely kicking in full blast right now. Actually, I have to say I feel somewhat pleasant. It’s sort of funny given my situation actually. I’m not even sure where I am but I’m having a great time! Haha! This stuff is strong!

I feel like I’ve been writing for a while. I hope they send my letter. I bet my dad will like to hear about my little adventure tonight. I don’t think they are going to let me go afterall, because they keep tightening the strap around my waist. Wait, they came back in again, maybe it’s time to go! I really do hope they locked the door at my house. Ugh, I have a huge headache, that medicine is not good.

They said I have to keep writing now but I don’t want to. I wanted to watch what they were doing but they just made me write more. This isn’t fun anymore. I am writing like they told me to but they keep poking me and cutting off my legs and talking all weird. I am not feeling happy anymore at all and I think I’ve been drugged. Where is this. are they goin to mail my letter i hope it’s all ready to go. it has a stamp. i really don’t like the blood smell and i am sad about my legs. probly should put this letter in the letter so the mailmn can send it. ok i;m done

We overslept a bit, and have to get ready and moving so we don’t miss anything at the music festival. Ryan doesn’t want us to take the camera since they might not allow it inside, and it’s pouring ass rain right now. Sorry, but it looks like tomorrow’s update will be lacking pictures. I’ll get some stuff from last night up later as well.

Peace out.

Update:

Wow, we are assholes for not taking the camera. Not only were cameras allowed, they were encouraged. Shit.

The Flaming Lips were fucking bad ass. Wow.

We were hurting pretty bad from the previous night. The enchiladas Dan and I had for dinner on night 2 were (and still are) ripping us apart. The 16 gallons of alcohol likely contributed some too…

We had a nice dinner at Whole Foods, which happens to be based here in Austin. It’s huge and the food counters are awesome.

Regardless of the fact that we were not much more than shells of people by this point, we headed out once again.

Ryan’s apartment.

Since Ryan works for a parking company, we were able to easily park in the crowded downtown area.

We went directly to the Key Bar, which I mentioned yesterday as the place with great, great drink pours. It took us a while to accept that we were probably just killing ourselves.

We got settled. For a Friday, it wasn’t that busy. I guess it was only about 10pm by this point.

Yeah.

We really weren’t trying very hard to take good pictures.

But we started feeling pretty good, yet not quite packed with energy.

That guy in the background bought us a round of drinks right when we were about to leave.

And then we started talking to some locals. They were very cool. Here is one of them.

Roger, the guy who bought us drinks earlier, came over and hung out as well. He bought us more drinks. At some point, he got up to use the bathroom and we never saw him again. Good guy. He was from Las Vegas, out here for the Austin City Limits festival.

We had a lot to drink. Again.

But the bill was suprisingly low and we didn’t complain.

And then there was a tiny car. A “Smart Car”. I guess it’s smart if you have a shoebox for a garage.

This is at the Molotov. The squishy floor bar from the previous night. The locals (Matthew and Valerie pictured here) headed over there. It was already about 1:30am, so we didnt’ have much time to get comfortable.

More of the squishy floor bar.

Hooray, we’re not dead yet.

Ryan questioning Valerie as to why she must turn this bar into a “house of lies”, after declining to prove her awesome “popping” dance skills.

Don’t forget to check out Day 2 part 1.

Oh my god. We all thought we escaped last night without any consequences. This was not the case. Holy crap.

Anyway - after the coffee shop, we went for dinner. Originally we were going to eat at Stubb’s, but there was a huge line due to Thievery Corporation playing later in the evening. We ended up at a nice mexican food place. They made guacamole right at the table. The food was good, but probably a bad idea in retrospect.

Upon leaving we saw a homeless guy with a rasta dog. He let us take his dog’s picture.

Frost Tower was looking pretty cool with its lights on.

We then went to The Blind Pig, which isn’t really that great of a bar, but has a nice rooftop patio.

Dan was enjoying himself.

I also was happy to be getting started.

Then some Playboy playmate made an appearance. They made people move out of the area and she had body guards. She’s in the red in this picture, which I took without being too obvious. Then I realized she takes her clothes off for money. I realize this picture is useless.

Wee went to a bar called the Red Fez, which had a lot of blue candles for some reason. I actually intended this picture to be blurry, unlike all the other ones.

Dan and Ryan probably thought about doing gay things to eachother.

And I continued to stay on the other side of the camera until I let my guard down.

I liked this picture because it turned out so badly.

After that, we went to an nice outside bar with a nice mist machine and lots of fans (it was still hot out). For the first time in Austin, I was blown away by the pour I got at a bar. The glass was literally filled to the top. This was great, and all three of us ended up getting one.

The bar I just mentioned was called the Key Bar. It was awesome. Shit, another really blurry one. Eh, whatever.

We had a great time and probably destined ourselves for a horrible tomorrow.

More blurry pictures ahead. The next bar had a weird squishy floor on the roof. See, now I didn’t realize the pictures were actually turning out like this - this is what I saw the whole time.

Ryan tried to convince us he had a gun in his apartment, and Dan and I called him on it. We then followed that up by saying he would never, ever own a real gun. He won’t. Here’s his “I totally will guys” look.

Next we went to Whisky Bar. I’ve never been so amazed at how small a drink can be. It was like $6 for a thimble full of anything. Dan and Ryan danced like pricks while I took pictures.

Eventually I joined in as well.

We had to leave.

To get to the after hours club, we cut through the middle of a block via an alley. The following sequence took place (warning, vomit uncensored):

Fucking awesome.

The after hours club wasn’t too busy, and the picture turned out terrible. Oh well.

And that is all. More tomorrow.

The Calm Before the Storm
Ooooookay. Day 2 started off innocent enough. Dan and I met Ryan downtown for lunch. It was hot as christ.

The architecture was pretty cool.

I like this place’s name but we didn’t eat here. I’m already boring myself with this update, but wait until later, it’s gets better.

This guy is totally Texas.

I guess this guy is too. Oh yeah, there are lots of blurry shots. My bad.

The hamburgers here were goddamned delicious.

Ryan was all dressed up for work and I was still wearing the same clothes as last night. I don’t care. Dan is in a lot of the pictures. ?? What?

We didn’t actually go in, but we felt sophisticated for just a split second anyway.

This is the Texas Capitol building. Without the Capitol, Texas would be “texas”. See what I did there.

These statues represent our valiant struggle to gain independence from Sri Lanka in the early 1980s.

The grounds were nice. Sorry, I know this is boring. I’ll pick up the pace.

Here is where the politicians hold pit fights to see who gets to make laws and stuff.

So Dan and I kicked it back at the apartment for a few hours and then we all went back downtown to attempt to kill ourselves apparently. We took a bus because that’s what they are for.

We went to a nice little coffee shop/bar in the warehouse district. We got a little overloaded on coffee and that was okay.

That thing in the background was pretty cool.

Afterwards we walked toward a huge pile of bars for food, then drinks. This is where all the pictures go from daylight to darkness, so I’ll continue with the second half in a bit.

Preview:

After a badly planned Tuesday night left us withered and weak, Dan and I left for Austin, TX from the comically small San Luis Obispo regional airport. I had to throw away some body spray, and Dan made his mother drive all the way back to the airport to pick up his cologne. We took our gel-based deoderants on the plane and nobody noticed we were breaking the law by doing so.

We had a quick stop in Phoenix and then found ourselves in the worst plane legally flying in the entire country. Everything was velcroed on to the plastic and styrofoam plane chassis, and the seats were carpet samples glued to plywood. They gave us each two packs of mini pretzels.

Ryan met us at the airport and we were excited to be off the plane, done travelling, and I suppose happy to see Ryan.

Because the area is pretty flat, this overpass here allows you to see all the way to Canada.

You can just barely see downtown Austin off in the distance. This is the last picture from the car, I promise.

We quickly changed cleaned up and went to grab a drink. On my last trip here, we went to a nice little bar with live music the first night I was in town. Ryan and I decided to take Dan there, since it’s close and reasonably priced.

There was this absolutely awesome band last time. It was mostly the guitarist - just awesome. Much to my surprise, they were playing when we walked in. Dan liked them too, and it was a great start to the trip. I wish I knew their name.

We got partially drunk on Jameson shots and were having a great time.

Then I took a picture of Dan.

We continued with a few more shots and alcohol and yeeeeaaah.

Having eaten nothing but very crappy airport “icecream” all day, it was dinner time. There’s a great little pizza place on the way back called Homesplice. Great name. We ate and figured out what our plan was for the next day.

Then Dan peed behind a dumpster at a junior highschool and it was funny.

Pictures of Ryan’s apartment and our second day in Austin coming later.